From July 7th to August 2nd, I couldn’t walk without the help of crutches, the pain in my right leg was just too much to bear. After meeting with a physical therapist, we decided that strained muscles along with bursitis of the right knee was likely the cause. This was my first big injury, and it threw my head for a loop. Operating on all cylinders to being laid up unable to do menial tasks messed with me, and I got really depressed and lonely. I am still shaking off those cobwebs but with it I take a few lessons, some are sad realities and other I’m excited to put to practice.
Wiggle Your Big Toe
It’s a line from the Kill Bill movie when she is coming out of a 4-year coma. I kept thinking back to that idea, if I can do the smallest thing now, eventually I’ll be doing the big things again.
Family is Your Best Friend
I am extremely grateful for having my father’s help throughout this time. From the smallest things, like bringing my food to the table, or getting the crutches that became vital to my mobility. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without help.
Have No Expectations
I was told “I’m here for you” … a lot. It felt good to have so many I could call upon, and I bet they felt good being helpful in my time of need. However, it’s easy to say words, to embody them requires action. For most of my recovery, I felt alone and just wanted to spend time with people. To think someone would come to my rescue is an unfair expectation.
You Are Worthy of Recovery
After the mental head flip, I felt very down, like I somehow deserved my injury. Or maybe the world was rooting for it. My internal dialogue wasn’t nice, and it took some convincing that I wasn’t defined by my mistakes, but rather my ability to comeback.
All in all, I may be a little dramatic. Why did this minor injury affect me so deeply? I’m not a professional athlete that lost his ability to compete. Or that rising star that had his future taken from him. I honestly cannot answer that one. Other than to point out we all experience and cope with things differently. I have learned I shouldn’t excoriate myself for not experiencing things the way I planned, but rather accept,
what is as it is.